


Sanders Sides Oneshot Collection

by SolarShine



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Cheese argument, Crying, General Remusy stuff, Human AU, Lots and lots of Remus, M/M, Twin trouble, dramatic dancing, gross metaphors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:35:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24877804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarShine/pseuds/SolarShine
Summary: Logan is used to having his friends come into his library and interrupt him while he is working. However, one day Remus comes in. He's oddly quiet and doesn't even disrupt Logan while he is working with a customer. Logan decides that he'll have to investigate and figure out what is wrong with his weird friend.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	1. Unusual

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Person A and Person B in a library/book store AU.
> 
> Warning: Includes Remus so has general Remusy stuff, mention of murderous thoughts (without wanting to do it), mentions of blood, gross metaphors, and crying
> 
> Ship: Intrulogical

Logan loved his job; he really did. At the library, he got a chance to go through his favorite sections, get the first pick at new books, and meet fellow book lovers who would have intellectual conversations with him. However, there was one issue, one _really_ big issue: his friends. 

Now, normally people wouldn’t see their friends as issues, but Logan was cursed with the most stupid, loud friends in all of the universe. They would always come to visit him at the library while he was working, bringing their unbearable, horrible noise with them. Patton would prance in, squealing about a dog he pet on the way in. Roman would waltz through the door, swinging it far too open with the slam of his strong hand while belting out notes from the latest musical he auditioned for. Virgil wouldn’t be as loud on his own, but he tended to stalk in, the music from his headphones blasting loudly for all to hear. Janus tended to sashay into the library, announcing his arrival and snaking Logan into a conversation he didn’t want to be a part of. Of course, this wasn’t always _loud_ , but it sure was horrible.

Then there was _Remus_.

Remus was worst of all. He would run into the library at terrible speeds, tracking in mud and other odd substances as he stomped towards Logan’s desk. Once he was in there, he would loudy speak about the most obscene things he could. He’d mention the inappropriate books he was reading or the jokes he made to Roman and Janus (the former hated it and the later was mildly amused, according to Remus) or he’d even start showing off his poetry (which was normally not appropriate for the workplace). Yes, Logan hated it whenever Remus came to the library. It was always a hassle trying to get him to leave, and most of the time, he didn’t even try to get a book! At least the others had the sense to start looking for a book to be polite, but Remus seemed to lack any maturity or politeness. He was everything that Logan hated within a person, yet he was his friend all the same. Remus _did_ hold some intelligence, even if it was fleeting. They would talk about insects and animals because Remus liked the animals he found, quote, “fucking disgusting but delicious!” He’d listen to Logan’s long infodumps about different animals and what they’d do or eat, usually going in-depth when it came to their diets because of how Remus enjoyed the gross details. They would also discuss books whenever Logan would say how they should talk about more proper subjects, which would lead to some surprisingly good conversations. Some of Logan’s favorite poets were ones that Remus had recommended to him. There was a certain….fondness within his heart that he held for the disturbing man. 

Which is why he noticed when Remus entered the library quietly, the only loud noise being the slam of the door. 

Logan glanced up from the computer he had been typing away on for a young teen girl who was looking for some distasteful romances. He watched Remus cross the library and go straight to a nearby aisle, not even looking over at Logan as he dashed there. Logan stared at where Remus once had been once Remus was gone from his sight, droning out the information about books and authors he didn’t care for. The teen girl thanked him in an overly high, preppy voice before skipping away, seeming to understand where she could look for the books on her own. Logan let out a sigh of relief before standing up. It was odd how Remus hadn’t even interrupted him during that conversation. Usually, no matter how long his line was, Remus would bound over and yell his greetings. Not once had this not occurred when he didn’t immediately stop Remus from running into his desk. He pressed something on his keyboard then made his way towards the aisle where he had seen Remus disappear behind. He expected to see Remus charting someone’s ear off or trying to eat a book, but instead what he found made him stop by the front of the aisle with a tensed neck and frozen limbs. 

Remus was sitting on the floor, silently crying while furiously writing into his poetry notebook. 

Logan walked over slowly, not sure what to do. He wasn’t used to comforting someone, especially when that person was someone who never appeared to be sad. Sure, Remus was demented, but he was always dementedly happy. There was always a wide, crooked grin stretched across his lips and pinching at his cheeks. Now, there was a tense frown and the tapping of teeth as Remus quietly sobbed and tried to keep it down by pressing his teeth together. Remus was never quiet. This never happened. It was an oddity Logan was struggling to break down. However, he knew he needed to do _something_ in response. To leave Remus be in such a state would be horribly cruel. So, Logan made his way towards Remus then shot down. The only indication of noticing him Remus made was the stop of his writing, the pen leaving an odd mark on the page from how abrupt he was with his pause. 

“Remus,” Logan started. That seemed simple enough. He wanted to get his friend’s full attention so that he could understand what was wrong, what was _odd_. Remus looked over, his eyes red and his nose runny with a mix between clear and yellow snot. The sight certainly wasn’t pretty, so Logan reached into his pockets. He always kept a small pack of tissues with him because of how often people sneezed, as it was a common function of the human body. He offered one to Remus, who snatched it quickly and blew his nose. 

“Boogers are nice. They’re fun to eat and they’re delicious and they’re-” Remus had been trying to start some cheery, disgusting joke, but he choked on his words. His natural thought process cursed him, and he covered his mouth as his body trembled and his eyes shut in an attempt to stop new tears. Logan put an arm around Remus. He normally hated to touch people, but something within his twisting heart made him want to hold Remus close to his chest until those tears and horrible, choked sounds would stop. He hated not knowing almost as much as he hated Remus’ sadness. He said nothing as he wrapped his arms around Remus, feeling how cold Remus’ body was. Remus must’ve walked to the library which was odd because of how far away his house was. Logan felt more concerned, but all he did was bring Remus closer. The other man finally began to return his hug, squeezing him tightly, like he wouldn’t be able to ever again. 

“I don’t like thinking. I wish I could stop,” Remus said, his voice heavy with tears. Logan looked down at Remus, concerned by the statement he just listened to. He held onto Remus’ face, and suddenly, it crossed his mind that Remus was a very pretty man. This was a horrible thought at such a difficult time, but he couldn’t stop it all the same. “If we were to stop thinking, we would not be alive. It is very important to keep thinking, even if some thoughts don’t make sense or feel as if they shouldn’t be there. Sometimes I dislike my own thoughts when they are illogical.”

Remus looked up at him, his eyes sparkling with a mix between tears and confusion. It was as if what Logan was saying was new to him, which was...odd. How had no one told him that thinking was important? “If you weren’t to think, you wouldn’t be able to make your poetry. Thinking is an important function,” Logan reworded, hoping he would make more sense. He never wanted to _not_ make sense. However, it seemed as if he had misinterpreted Remus’ look. “I know that,” Remus spat. “I _know_. I don’t want the useless thoughts, the thoughts that make people hate me!” He hit the ground, the carpet stinging the sides of his hand. “Like Roman!” 

“Roman doesn’t hate you,” Logan said sternly the instant he heard that falsehood. “He is your brother, and the bond of blood is stronger than anything. I can guarantee that he doesn’t hate you for the thoughts you have, especially since he is unable to hear all of them.”

“But he does!” Remus was growing more upset it seemed, which did not make Logan happy. Were his attempts to comfort not working? “I tell everyone my thoughts. I can’t keep them inside my head, no matter how much I try! When I think of something, I want to spit it out. It feels like bile, gross in my throat but better when I get it out. But the smell still stains, and everyone hates the smell! Everyone! Even me!” 

“Remus. Is it possible that you suffer from intrusive thoughts?” Logan questioned, finding it to be what was the most likely considering what Remus tended to blurt out. Remus tilted his head to the side. “Intrusive thoughts- thoughts that pop in your head seemingly out of nowhere despite the fact you may or may not like them.” Remus seemed to think for a moment, shrugging. He wasn’t really sure, so how could he correctly answer that question? Logan nodded, understanding the silent communication. “I suggest you speak to a psychologist about your thoughts. When you struggle with thoughts such as this, it is best to speak to one who specializes in helping mental struggles.” 

“But I’m not crazy! I swear I’m not. Okay, maybe I think about what it’s like to feel someone’s blood in my hands and how warm it’d probably be from a fresh kill, but I’m not crazy! I’d never actually murder someone!” Remus said, shaking his head furiously. Logan sighed and ran a gentle hand through Remus’ hand as if his touch could do anything to help his thoughts. Actually, it kind of did, from the looks of things. Remus leaned into it and grew less passionate about his thoughts, simply mumbling another statement of “I’m not crazy” under his breath. 

“You don’t have to be crazy to see a psychologist, Remus. Plenty of quote-on-quote ‘normal’ people see psychologists all the time simply to speak about their problems with life. It’s alright if you need to go to one to speak about your thoughts. No one will judge you for doing so, most likely. Not I, not your brother….no one.” Remus looked up at Logan with big eyes before...kissing him? Yes, that’s just what Remus did. He kissed Logan so strongly that it spun his head for a moment, taking all of his breath away. After a moment of processing, he began to kiss back. It was illogical, it was odd, but it wasn’t bad. It was different, and Logan was finding that he rather liked different despite himself. He didn’t know exactly how he felt (ugh, feelings), but these ones were wonderful. His chest felt as if it were blooming, a rose stretching out all its petals in its own way of growing. Yes, thee were thorns, but the thorns didn’t need to be clipped off. They were a part of the feeling he was feeling, and he didn’t dislike them. They too could be as nice to touch as the smooth stem and soft petals; one just had to touch them gently. 

Logan was the first to pull away. Remus looked at him with a big smile and hugged him tightly, pressing a second kiss onto his skin. This one had a little bite which made Logan gasp in surprise, but the feeling was not unpleasant. He didn’t mind. After his passionate action, Remus whispered a breathy “thank you” before rushing out of the library- this time doing so rather loudly. The stomps of his feet and the slam of the door gave Logan a calm he would never be able to describe to anyone. He stood up from the floor to go back to his desk for work, but for the first time, work wasn’t on his mind. All he could think of was Remus with his chaos and his flaws and his everything. Yes, it seemed horrible at first glance to him, but after being around Remus for so long he could see the beauty of it. There was something beautiful about Remus’ loud, beautiful mind. 

Logan smiled. Perhaps he didn’t mind it so much when Remus came to visit his library.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,116


	2. The Cheese Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil is having a normal breakfast with Remus of all people until Remus starts putting cheese into his coffee. Virgil does his best to set this crime against food and beverages right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from my friend (word for word): “Write me a oneshot where Remus and Virgil fight over cheese. You could make any cheese argument, like which one is better, which goes better with what, how do you eat it, where do you put it. Any argument. Just a fight about cheese.” 
> 
> I'm a good friend, so I so did make a wonderful oneshot based off of this prompt. 
> 
> Warnings: General Remusy disgusting stuff, food mentions and eating, terrible combinations of food, and a food fight
> 
> Ship: None

Virgil didn’t expect to be sitting in the kitchen, alone, with _Remus_ of all people. Yet there he was, sipping his coffee and trying to ignore the fact that Remus was dragging an ungodly amount of cheese from the fridge. It seemed like Remus was bringing out every combination of cheese in existence: parmesan, mozzarella, cheddar, american, gouda, swiss, feta….so much. Virgil was beginning to lose track of all the different types. Then Remus started making his own cup of coffee, which was extremely odd considering he had never seen Remus drink anything besides bleach and other liquids that shouldn’t enter the human body. However, he began to understand what Remus was really doing when he took out a blender and started putting the many cheeses in. He then began pouring coffee into the blender with the cheese before pressing onto the button, letting it all mix together. Virgil watched in disgust and horror, the weird smell of the new combination filling his throat with bile. 

“What the actually _fuck_ are you doing? You’re not supposed to mix cheese with coffee. Coffee is perfect by itself,” Virgil stated, sipping his black coffee to make his point. Remus turned his head into a 180 degree angle, his face now above the back of his neck. Virgil flinched because of the odd crack it made, still adjusting to Remus’ weirdness. It had been years without him, so he was having a hard time getting used to everything wrong with Remus- or, well, not everything _wrong_ necessarily, but everything _odd_. Remus didn’t seem to be bothered by his discomfort. In fact, his smile grew impossibly wide on his face to the point where Virgil was sure it would rip out of his face. 

“What do you mean? Coffee is the best with some cheese or pickles or even mustard. It makes it taste so smooth.” Virgil grimaced at Remus’ explanation, finding it as disturbing as the terrible mixture he was now slowly sipping on. Virgil pushed his own coffee to the side, feeling too disgusted to drink it anymore. He sighed and went over to the fridge, taking out some cheddar cheese and slicing it nicely on a board with a knife. Remus watched him with morbid fascination, reaching out for the knife multiple times. Of course, Virgil hit his hand away each time, staying silent as he went forward with his work. Once he made a nice pile of cheese, he popped one into his mouth. 

“See? This is how you’re supposed to eat cheese. You can also have it with crackers if you want, but it _doesn’t_ go with coffee.” Remus looked at Virgil like he had made the weirdest statement ever, raising his eyebrow far too high on his forehead. It was almost cartoonish how he did it, but it was disgusting to look at in real life. “What do you mean? I’m not eating the cheese. I’m drinking it,” Remus explained casually like this was a completely normal thing for him to do. “I drink cheese in my coffee all the time.” 

“Oh god,” Virgil breathed. No. Was he going to have to explain to Remus how to be normal? This was a situation he didn’t want to be in, but maybe it would do some good for everyone if he did learn. Maybe it would be uncomfortable and hard, but it certainly would be help- Oh no. Now Remus was taking the cheese Virgil chopped up and combining it with as many condiments as he could. He was pouring ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, and more in large amounts, a gloppy pile of liquidish topping covering his hands. He put it all in his mouth, lapping at his hands like how a dog would lap at water to get a good drink. Virgil gagged and turned away, not wanting to see anymore.

“Can’t you just eat cheese normally?!” Virgil practically screeched, putting his hands over his mouth. Now he couldn’t even drink the rest of his coffee which sat there, growing cold. Remus sighed as if _he_ was in the wrong, shaking his head furiously. Virgil was sure his head would fly off his shoulders with how much Remus was wiggling it. Remus then put his hands down, the terrible mix of condiments and cheese dripping onto the floor. 

“This is how I normally eat everything!” Remus said, a furious giggle escaping him as he began to wash off the mixture on his hands with pickle juice and bleach. His hands were shining, completely clean, but the air was thick with horrible smells. Virgil covered his mouth to resist the urge to barf. “Really? You can’t eat a single thing like how a normal person would eat it? Can’t you just eat cheese on a sandwich or in a fondue or in a dip?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!” 

Remus looked over at Virgil sadly. It was odd. Normally Patton was the only one who could look like a puppy when he was sad, but Remus now looked like one that had been kicked to the ground and furiously wounded. His mustache had lots of odd food substances on it now, and his face was a mixture of horror. But despite all that, Virgil felt guilty for his outburst. He shouldn’t have made assumptions that Remus easily knew what the rest of them did. He always performed odd actions as it was his instinctual leaning to do so. Virgil went to reach out, to say something and apologize, but before he could even speak. Remus threw a slice of cheese at him. Then another. And another. Before he knew it, he was being bombarded with stacks of cheese he was struggling to stop with his arms. Virgil moved back and yelled to Remus, lifting his hood so he’d have an extra barrier of protection. 

“Remus!!! Stop throwing cheese at me!!! I’m sorry, alright?” Remus didn’t stop his cheesy assault, a bit of it landing in Virgil’s mouth when he had been talking. Virgil gagged on the oddly warm slice of swiss and spit it out. It was disgusting. He covered his mouth and glanced around. On the counter there was one slice of normal cheddar from when he had tried to show Remus how to eat cheese normally. He rushed over to the counter, grabbed one of the little blocks of cheese, then went over to Remus to shove it in his mouth. The moment the cheese was in his mouth, Remus stopped his assault. He chewed on the cheese curiously then swallowed it, seeming to relax. “See? Isn’t it better that way?” Remus looked at him then grinned.

“Nope! But your fingers sure taste good!” 

Virgil sighed and gave up as Remus went towards the fridge, now beginning to make a smoothie that consisted of as many foods and liquids as he could shove into the blender. Sure, he wasn’t able to show Remus how to eat cheese normally, but maybe he didn’t _need_ to show Remus how to do that. He was intrusive thoughts and dark creativity. It was okay for him to be odd, even if it disturbed Virgil and Patton alike. 

Virgil took a seat and drank his normal coffee, putting his headphones over his ears. He’d go on with his normal day while Remus went on with his weird one. And hey, even if Remus didn’t, he was sure he could enjoy cheese as it was supposed to be eaten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,249


	3. Mystery Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Triple dates are always rather chaotic, and the planning for one is even more so. Logan knows how utterly frustrating it is since he always ends up arguing with Roman and Remus about what they should do for their big date. Unbeknownst to them, their crafty boyfriends already have something “fun” planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Anything with Royality, Demus, and/or Analogical 
> 
> Warnings: Nothing, I think! This is pretty fluffy. Let me know if there's any warnings I should put, though!
> 
> Ships: They're in the prompt so it's all of those.

“We went to a nice restaurant last week! I want to go somewhere disgusting!” 

“Somewhere disgusting for a date? That’s not romantic at all, Remus!” 

“Who cares about romance? I want to have fun.”

Logan sighed as he listened to the two brothers fighting, putting a finger in between his eyes to try to calm the horrible migraine beginning to bloom in the center of his forehead. Planning with the brothers was always tortuous to be the point where he considered submitting it as a legal crime with how much it pained him. However, he wouldn’t bother courts too greatly with his troubles as there were worse crimes out there. He put down the notepad he had been using to note down their ideas, slamming it to silence the two fools who were still arguing. They grew quiet, slowly turning towards Logan with betrayed looks. 

“What the hell was that for?” The twins shouted in unison before turning towards each other, quickly yelling “Stop copying me, asshole!” This led into another loud argument where they were both now speaking at the same time, most of their words copies of one another. Logan was ready to slap both of them. He abruptly stood up and took them both by their ears like the children they were, which led to screeches of “Ow!” and “My ears are sensitive, Nerdy Wolverine!” Logan honestly didn’t care. Whatever got them to shut up for a few seconds. 

“All of this arguing is meaningless and illogical. The both of you shout over one another and get nothing done each and every time we try to plan something. I implore you both to shut your mouths for two seconds unless you wish to see me lose my mind more than I already have,” Logan said sternly before letting go of their ears. Roman and Remus groaned as they rubbed their ears but ultimately went silent as Logan quickly took notes of some of the normal ideas they had made before their idea making turned into a shouting match. They glanced over his shoulder, giving him little space. Logan turned away to avoid them, but like annoying children, they kept following him to put their heads on his shoulders. Despite how they were already looking over his shoulder, Logan decided to read his list around. 

“So far our ideas have included a nice restaurant, a rented bouncy house we can ultimately pop then end up purchasing, a romantic outing to a theatre to see a community theatre play, a paintball battle combined with capture the flag to make the ultimate game, a drag show where all of us get fully dressed up in drag then sing on stage like fools which was seconded by Remus, and going to the ocean to capture and eat raw sea animals. All of these ideas are absolutely horrible.” The twins gasped, offended by Logan’s harsh criticism. But he wasn’t wrong. Their ideas were a little wild, and the more shy couple (Logan and Virgil) wouldn’t like loud events like a drag show. They both bowed their heads sadly for a second before Roman lifted his head and looked around. There was something missing...hold on a second-

“Where are our boyfriends?” Roman asked, forgetting about Logan’s insult. His peppy little lovebug was normally so loud, but he didn’t hear Patton in the other room at all. Janus and Virgil were a lot more quiet in comparison, but normally he could hear them debating numerous subjects like conspiracy theories and philosophy. Remus walked towards the living room and poked his head in, not seeing them at all. 

“SEXY!!!! WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!” Remus shouted at the top of his lungs to Roman and Logan’s dismay, who both didn’t like how loudly he screeched his inappropriate pet names for Janus all the time. There was no answer to his shout, so Logan walked into the room. On the table was a little note. It certainly hadn’t been there before, so Logan quickly walked over and picked up the piece of paper. This is what the note said:

_“Dear idiot boyfriends (hey, they’re all very smart! That’s not nice, Janus- Patton),  
We have planned a scavenger hunt instead of whatever random date you’ve been arguing about. I mean, might as well make something ourselves if you three weren’t going to decide on something. Anyways, that’s not the point. You’re going to have to find us through notes written by Virgil which will give you hints to the various locations where you can find more clues. I wish you bad luck. _

_Sincerely,  
Janus (turn over this note for your clue, foolish dummies)”_

Logan scoffed. Of course Janus would insult them so much in their letter. However, he was not the dumb one. The dumb ones were the twins, who were beginning to argue over a clue they hadn’t seen yet. They thought that the note from Janus was the clue when, in fact, it wasn’t. Logan groaned and turned it over, making sure to read the clue aloud so that the two dumbasses would shut up. 

_“Turn around and stare at the wall.  
Notice what looks like it’s about to fall.  
It’s on the edge, and we are too.  
This is your first clue.” _

“All that’s on the wall is that stupid painting of a coffee cup Remy got us,” Roman grumbled, crossing his arms. Remus then rushed over and tilted the painting slightly, making it look like it was, in fact, about to fall. He grinned and looked over at Logan, who was already starting to analyze the image with narrowed eyes.  
“They must be at Remy’s coffee shop. That’s the only location that could be connected with this image. And Remus- please fix the painting while we’re at it. It’s been tilted for the longest time,” Logan said. Remus groaned because, honestly, he liked the painting more when it was tilted, but he fixed it anyways. Logan was really the only one Remus listened to besides his boyfriend. Mostly because he didn’t want to face the horror that was Logan’s fury. Once the painting had been fixed, the three of them got on their shoes and quickly left to make their way over to the coffee shop. Now, the coffee shop on its own would’ve been a good location for a date, but it seemed like their crafty boyfriends had other plans for them. It was rather thrilling to find out what they would be doing through odd clues. 

Roman pushed opened the glass door with a little chime, the bell above them letting out a ring-a-ling-ding. He grandly sashayed over to the front, his hands on his hips as he gave their barista friend a little glare. Remy raised a brow at them and put down the mug he had been cleaning. 

“I’m guessing you’re here because of the three musketeers, babes? Well, take a look around, cause I’m not gonna help you. Not when you’re looking at me like _that_ , sweetheart,” Remy scoffed, turning away to focus on his cleaning instead of the man who was looking at him so suspiciously. Roman slammed his hands on the counter in outrage over the fact they weren’t getting any help just as Logan found another paper. This one was under a mug at a table where three had been left behind. One had been filled with hot chocolate, the other seemed as if it had simply been black coffee, and the last was an iced coffee cup (the ice was still melting inside). Yep, their boyfriends had been there. 

“Roman, stop having a temper tantrum and come over here…..wait. Where is Remus?” Logan glanced around the coffee only to hear a yell from a nearby bathroom. Remus ran out, laughing, as one of the employees shooed him out with a broom. The employee was yelling something about a clog toilet that exploded with water? Logan didn’t really care to listen as Remus retreated, hiding behind his brother to avoid the enraged employee. As he did, Logan started reading the second note aloud. 

_“Oh look, you’re so smART. Honestly, I don’t feel like rhyming nor putting any effort into this second note, so you just have to deal with this cryptic message cause this is all you’re getting. Maybe that’s not fUn for you, Logan, but SEe….I don’t care about fUn. I care about getting you duMbasses over here as soon as possible. -Virgil.”_

“Why do they keep insulting us? You two need to get nicer boyfriends,” Roman stated as Remus grabbed the note out of Logan’s hand excitedly. He was smart enough to figure this one out! It was so simple! Remus took out a random red pen from his pocket and started circling all of the wrong things, just focusing on fun and not caring comments. 

“Virgil doesn’t care, so he’s probably just at his apartment!” Remus said proudly, putting his hands on his hips. Logan sighed. Remus always got so close to trying to figure it out, but each and every time he managed to get it completely wrong in the end. Logan took the pen to circle the oddly uppercased letters instead, noticing that it spelled out “Art Museum.” It really wasn’t hard to miss considering how lazy Virgil had gotten with this clue. Logan then showed the correct answer to the twins, who both let out a disappointed “oh” that soon turned into an excited “oh!” They all enjoyed art, so Logan wouldn’t be surprised if the art museum was their final location. Just as they were about to head out to their next location, Remy stopped them. 

“Hold up! You three aren’t leaving without your favorite drinks. I have them all made right here in travel cups, free of charge. I may not give free clues, but I do give free coffee. Don’t you ever question my love for you three,” Remy said, snapping to emphasize his point as the three musketeers took the drinks they were offered. Remus and Roman happily sipped on the sugary beverages in response while Logan gave a quick thank you, only taking a swig of his black coffee once they were outside and walking towards the museum. Remus and Roman tried each other’s drinks and judged the other’s taste the whole way. Logan simply listened to them and sighed, hoping they would soon find their boyfriends so that he’d have some intelligent people to be around.

His wish was granted. There on the steps of the museum were their three boyfriends. Janus was elegant with his suit and bowtie, overdressed in comparison to everyone else. Patton wore cute, white shoes with a gorgeous sundress and a sun hat ten times bigger than Janus’ bowler hat. Then there was Virgil, who was every bit as edgy as always. He wore a leather jacket with combat boots, his shirt and pants both tattered and distressed. He wore a black tie over his purple shirt to try to look a little more fancy, though. Logan appreciated the effort. 

“Hey, boys!!!” Patton chirped, waving to them with a big smile that reflected his sunny dress. Janus and Virgil just rolled their eyes and spoke in unison. 

“Took them long enough.” 

“What was that?! You just planned this without warning! I’m so….” Roman took his boyfriend into his arms, kissing his cheek and grinning wildly like he was the luckiest man in the world. Patton giggled, reflecting his look in his own bright eyes. “...proud! Oh, you clever little angel, you minx!” Remus, meanwhile, bit his lip and looked his boyfriend up and down. He looked like he was about to say something nasty, so Janus covered his mouth with a chuckle. 

“Save whatever you’re going to say for later.” Then, there was Virgil. Logan’s beautiful, elegant, handsome Virgil. He walked over to his boyfriend, simply taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. He didn’t need any flowery words to express how much he enjoyed the surprise. 

“Let’s go into the museum. I want to learn about some of the older works.”

And so, they went.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2,019


	4. The Beauty of Dark Creativity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has always been known as the gross, disturbing side of creativity. No one thinks he can make anything as beautiful as Roman. However, one day Janus comes into the dark side’s realm and witnesses a creation the likes of which he’s never seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: My own idea. Whoa! 
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of blood, mentions of death, tears, and Remus-typical language
> 
> Ship: Implied Demus

No one likes Remus. That much has been true for a long time, and it’s all because of his horrid tendencies. Patton hates his jokes about dead animals and dead, well, _everything_ , Logan hates his illogical attempts at intimidation, Virgil hates his love of chaos and evil (after all, Virgil can’t associate with anything _evil_ ), Roman hates his disgusting, never-ending ideas, and Thomas hates how Remus keeps him up at night. Janus hates…..actually, he isn’t sure what he hates about Remus. Perhaps the statement “no one likes Remus” was a lie. But he doesn’t _love_ Remus, that much is certain. It’s impossible to love someone like _Remus_. 

However, Remus does remind him of what it’s like for someone to love a pet puppy. Remus is such an obedient side, especially when it comes to Janus’ ideas of sabotage and “teaching.” The last time he sent the dark side in it was to show both the good and the bad parts of Thomas, representing how Thomas can be separate from his sides (ironically enough). It went perfectly because of Remus’ excitement and passion as he went all out, causing the sort of chaos Janus could admire. Janus is an ordinarily organized man, but there is something orderly about chaos. Chaos is controlled in how the results of it can be easily predicted. For example, Janus knew how Remus’ chaos would affect the others. It’s precisely how he made it so Logan would be the one teaching like he wanted. And so, chaos is organized. That much is true. 

Janus closes his book. Here he is thinking of Remus, and he hasn’t even checked on the other side in…..oh fuck, it’s been a full hour. For all he knows, Remus could’ve left a pile of dead snakes in his room again! He stands quickly, throwing his book onto the leather chair he had been perched in. The Mind Palace didn’t seem as comfortable as it was a second ago. He sighs and rubs his forehead before adjusting his gloves, preparing for whatever gross shenanigans Remus is probably up to. He swiftly walks down the halls to get to the Imagination, Remus’ favorite realm within the Mind Palace. He takes in a deep breath. Hopefully whatever is behind this door won’t make him throw up. Wouldn’t that be embarrassing! 

Janus opens the door like how one would tear off a bandaid, snapping it wide open. Surprisingly, the door doesn’t creek nor does it slam against the wall. It stops gracefully just before the doorknob can disturb Remus, who is….dancing? Yes, that’s dancing. He doesn’t move from the doorway, listening to the music Remus is dancing along too. It’s a haunting melody with the screech of a violin, the howl of a viola, and the low drone of a desperate piano. It’s a lot slower than what Janus would expect for Remus to dance to. He goes to say something, to announce his presence, only to have his words imprisoned in his throat. 

Remus stretches his leg far back behind himself, bending his knee and his toes so his foot can gingerly tap the back of his head. The moment it makes contact there, blood blooms from the back of his head like he has been shot. The violin screams in pain as Remus opens his mouth to reflect the sound, his body slowly going forward. He uses his hands to stop himself from falling all the way, using the momentum to roll and land in a split with his forehead resting gracefully on his knee. He puts his hands on either side of himself then falls back, lifting his body in reverse to press his back against the cold ground. His legs lift into the air, stretching so far that it seems as if his body will split in half. 

Janus doesn’t need to ask about what this dance means or why Remus is doing it. The message echoes loud and clear as the violin fades, the viola wails and the piano cries quietly, unable to stop its tears. This is a representation of Remus’ view of death, with all of the loud pain and quiet mourning it comes with. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen such a striking way to represent it, not even in the best metaphors Roman has used in his dramatic poems and monologues. He’s...he’s crying. Why is he crying? Remus rolls his body back and cracks his neck way too far to the side, his body growing limp on the ground. The music stops, and he doesn’t move. His eyes stay closed. Is he even breathing? 

Janus covers his mouth despite himself. Is Remus really….? No. No, this has to be fake. This has to be one of his tricks. He runs forward, his boots slamming against the cruel, cold ground on which Remus now rests. Remus doesn’t move until Janus is right by his side, his eyes shooting open. Janus lets out a sigh of relief as those familiar eyes crinkle with a wide smile, a little laugh escaping Remus’ mouth. 

“Did you think I was really dead, Janny Fanny? Did-” Remus stops and tilts his head, noticing the tears still rolling down Janus’ cheeks. He falls silent and puts his bloody hand on Janus’ face, a small whine escaping him. Remus really is like a dog, but Janus is never going to compare Remus to an animal. Not ever again. 

“Your art. It **didn’t** make me emotional, Remus,” Janus explains, and Remus lights up at the reaction. The dark side of creativity hops up like life has been forced back into him, no longer caught in the cold hands of Death. Janus flinches at the sudden change then smiles. Of course that would be a compliment to an artist, to be able to make someone emotional. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Remus more overjoyed. Actually, he has- when Remus was tearing a body apart and explaining the best way to harvest the organs. But he wasn’t paying as much attention then as he is now. 

“Why don’t you show anyone what you do when you’re alone?” Janus asks, taking a stand himself. “You could easily show your worth with a dance like the one you performed just this moment. Why not perform for them?” 

Remus smiles like there’s a joke that Janus isn’t quite getting, the passion in his eyes striking Janus to his core.   
“I already do, silly! Through Thomas! Gosh, Jan- you have such a big brain, yet you ask such a dumb questions. Oh, hey- can I open your head and play with your brain? I’m sure it’d be lots of fun.” 

Janus blinks. This is the same man who had just performed the best dance he’s ever seen. Oddly, he doesn’t care about the oddness of the request. However, there is no way he’s going to let Remus perform surgery on his brain. 

“No, Remus. You’re not getting your dirty hands on my brain.” 

“Aw, man! Oh well. I’ll go bother Logan for his brain. Bye, Double Dick!” 

Janus watches Remus go and puts a hand over his cursed heart before touching his bloody cheek. His face is warmer than the fresh blood coating it. _Oh_. 

He _loves_ Remus. Janus smiles softly, sighing. 

No one likes Remus. No one, except him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,224


	5. Cafe Connection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has never liked talking to people. People suck, so why should he even try? Well, this antisocial, emotionally constipated barista meets his match when the human equivalent of sunshine waltzes in and talks to him in his own wacky way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: My own fluffy mind
> 
> Warnings: None, I think. Let me know if anything should be put here! But this is all just cute fluff and bad flirting.

The cliche music flowing overhead was beginning to drive Virgil insane. He was at the end of his shift, lazily leaning over the counter with half-lidded eyes announcing his exhaustion to the world. Well, they would be if there were a world within the cafe. But for the past fifteen minutes, business had been dead. It was both bliss and hell because Virgil didn’t have to suffer through talking to sorry, dead, middle-class workers getting their source of energy after a long day of work, but it meant the cafe wasn’t getting money. Sure, the cafe would probably survive this lack of customers like it always has, but the screech of “what if” echoed in his head. What if this was the beginning of the end, the start of the cafe utterly failing and growing desolate? What- 

Before he could start on more questions, the bell by the door let out its familiar ring-a-ling-ding as an incredibly short man strolled into the cafe. No...this wasn’t a man; he was certainly a boy. He sure looked young. His hazel eyes were bright with happiness, lacking the emptiness adults often held. He hadn’t been crushed by the world yet. However, this boy was dressed like he was a middle-aged dad with multiple kids. He wore a faded, light blue polo with a hoodie tied over his shoulders. Upon closer inspection, Virgil noticed how the boy’s hoodie was actually a cat one. It was childish, but….it was a pretty cute hoodie. He also wore khakis which seemed to be a bit too long, the ends getting caught under the heel of his black shoes until he reached down to adjust it once again. It seemed like more trouble than it was worth. 

“Hello! Sorry to come in fifteen minutes before closing. I won’t be too long! Could I just get a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream, please?” Virgil shook himself out of his daze. The boy’s voice was high pitched, but his tone certainly wasn’t young. He sounded like a polite, young man- not the teenager he certainly looked like. Perhaps he just had a younger face. Virgil nodded silently and started to get the hot chocolate together as the man took out his wallet, meticulously going through it. He glanced over and couldn’t help but chuckle at how this man seemed to be the least organized person in existence. All the bills within his wallet were messily folded, and he seemed clumsy as he tried to search for a simple five dollar bill. 

“How old are you?” Virgil suddenly asked, unsure how to read this stranger. The man looked up and smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. It was….a nice smile. 

“I’m twenty-five years old! And you….” The stranger bent his body and head around and went on his tippy toes, going over the counter to get a good look at Virgil’s name tag. “Virgil! Gosh, what a nice name. I’ve never met anyone named Virgil before. How old are you, Virgil?” 

It seemed like this man was saying his name way too many times. It was like he couldn’t stop using it. Virgil had seen people do that before, but it was usually to make fun of him for his odd name. Instead, this stranger was praising it and said it with a sugary tone. It was like his name was blessed information dripping with milk and honey. He tried to hide his redding face. So, this dude was only a year older than him. Not too much of an age difference. Wait, why was he thinking about age difference? It didn’t matter. It wasn’t like he was ever going to see this guy again after he paid and left. 

“I’m twenty-four. What’s your name? Need it for your cup.” Honestly, that was the worst excuse he could’ve come up with. There was literally no one else in the store. Why couldn’t he just admit he was curious to learn this guy’s name? Maybe it was because it’d be creepy to be like “hey, you seem cool and not dead inside….maybe wanna talk more? Can I have your name?” That would be way too much, and Virgil was not going to let himself get too overwhelming with a customer who wouldn’t be here for long. Heck, he didn’t talk much to any customer, so why change that now? 

“Patton! Did you know it means ‘son of Patrick’ or ‘fighter’s town?’ Personally, I prefer the second meaning but it sounds cool even if I’m not a fighter. I’m a lover! I don’t make hate, I make love!” Patton said with the biggest smile on his face. Did this dude not realize the insinuation he just made? His smile wasn’t sly in the slightest. Virgil coughed quietly and covered his mouth, hoping his cheeks would calm down. Blushing was so embarrassing. How come it had to be so easy to see on his pale ass skin? 

“Well, not-fighter, that’s going to be four dollars and seventy-nine cents. Did you ever find that five dollar bill?” Virgil slid the drink forward and leaned on the counter, lacking the care of energy to stand up straight. Seemed like he couldn’t do anything straight around this guy- Patton. Patton. He had a name now, so it wasn’t like Patton was some stranger. Though, he would most certainly just be a customer who would leave and never come back, lost among the crowds of visitors who would never return. Maybe he’d stop in once or twice again if the hot chocolate was good enough, but Virgil doubted it. 

“Yep, I sure did! Here ya go! But...before I go, I do wanna get one more thing if it’s not too much trouble,” Patton replied, a shyer smile growing on his face. Virgil sighed but stood up straighter, moving over to the pastry case only to see that Patton was furiously shaking his hand and giggling. “No, no, no! I uh, I don’t need any food. I want something else.” 

Virgil’s heart panged in his chest. 

“What is it?”

“Could I, perhaps, have your number?”

Virgil hadn’t ever had someone flirt with him so nicely before, and it was making his face hotter than the beverage he just made. He cleared his throat and grabbed the receipt, writing down his number. He couldn’t resist, okay? This guy was around his name, was overly sweet, and had a smile that made his heart literally melt in his chest. That hunk of muscle was probably a puddle by now. Virgil slid the receipt over, rubbing his neck and glancing to the side. He heard the crinkle of the receipt as Patton took it, but he was far too nervous to look back. 

“There it is: free of charge. Now, you gotta leave my cafe. It’s closing time.” 

He could practically feel Patton’s smile and his gentle gaze. 

“Alright, Virgil! I’ll see you tomorrow. Think I might make an evening hot chocolate a part of my routine. Cause it’s good hot chocolate, of course.”

Patton hadn’t even taken a sip of the hot chocolate. 

“Of course.”

And just like that, Patton was gone with the chime of the door ringing out his exit. It took Virgil a total of five minutes to get out of his head and start his cleaning. Even then, all he could think of was Patton’s beautiful smile and the promise of a future visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 1,245


	6. Dressing Down the Duke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus thinks about his past in detail before Roman comes in and brings up a piece of the past best left forgotten: the King.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Remus does a lot of Remusy things, so there is mention of weapons, mention of knives, the use of knives to chop off fingers, poop, sexual language, profanity, mentions of blood, and gross metaphors. Remus is just gross overall, so I may have missed something. Please let me know if I did!  
> There is also implied Unsympathetic! Patton, but it's a little unclear because he really didn't know he was doing things that were wrong or harmful. Sympathetic-ness with the sides is a little grey here. 
> 
> Ships: There are no ships.  
> But there is some Creativitwins for those of you who like the brothers interacting!

No one understands Remus, and he likes it that way. The mystery he holds is enough to make Patton tremble in fear at his very existence. It’s funny, really- thinking about how it all started. He’s sure daddy didn’t even know what he was doing at the time. All he knew was how the King was bad for Thomas. 

Now, it wasn’t the King’s fault. He had been formed to include the best and the worst of Creativity. Something no one realizes is that creativity can quickly become a curse. Twisted ideas fill your mind and persist, or good ones appear but never come to see the light of day because of a lack of motivation. On top of that, the human mind is a complex, imaginative device. One of Remus’ favorite things to use it for is it’s unnatural ability to know what licking something would feel like without even doing it. All he has to do is stare at Roman’s sword or Virgil’s spider and think _LICK_! Of course, he had the wonderful opportunity to feel those textures on his own, cursed tongue, but that’s besides the point.

The point is that creativity was so complex even Morality couldn’t understand it. Patton hardly understands now; there was no way he was going to get it when Thomas was a kid. And that’s what led to the splitting: a lack of understanding. Like how a terrified child reacts to a spider, Patton went for the spider with a shoe and had its blood splatter against a black and white wall. However, Patton didn’t think of the effects of killing a spider like the King. When a spider dies, it no longer kills the bugs in its area for a delicious, blood-juicebox of a meal. The same thing happened with the King. Once the King was gone, there were tons of pesky flies buzzing around, all of them flocking from a horrible garbage pile: Remus. He didn’t like it at the time. He was cold and confused, and having someone practically curse his existence for something he didn’t understand was _not_ a great way to start out. When he and Roman were formed by the split, they were like babies destined to lean separate ways. It was apparent where Remus would fall when he came into the world with a full, curly mustache as a small child. That seemed to be kid Thomas’ view of what an evil person was (mustached and scary), a view which persisted all the way into adulthood. 

Remus grew to like it as a dung beetle enjoys feces: by shoving it all into his mouth. Well, actually- it was more like he shoved it into other people’s mouths. Because Patton found his pesky ideas to be so annoying and terrifying, he only wanted to show them to dear old dad even more. After all, it was so funny whenever Patton would scream at him and think he had any sort of control after the split. He didn’t. The split was a result of him losing control, and after it happened...Patton lost the game. He could no longer control Remus. 

But someone else could. 

Janus didn’t practice his control over Remus in the beginning. All he did was observe from a distance, trying to figure out what this dumpster child would turn into. When he started to become too much and introduce ideas far too dangerous for young Thomas, that’s when Janus stepped in and took him under his cloak. At the time, Remus was thankful to have a guiding figure who would take care of him and be forced to listen to his unending stream of disturbing ideas. To be fair, Janus handled his ideas fairly well. He would always stand to the side as Remus demonstrated different ways to murder various organisms. Normally he wouldn’t watch, but his presence was the only thing that mattered to Remus, who lacked a “willing” audience for so long. As much as he loved bothering Patton, his brother, and Virgil, there was something nice about having someone who would choose to stand around him. At least, Remus thought it was a choice. 

The reality was that Janus never had a choice. 

When the split happened, the King wasn’t the only thing to be split apart. As Thomas grew more black and white, the sides were separated into these categories in perfect symmetry. Logic, clear thinking, was kept on the good side as he helped Thomas with his growth and his logical decision making. There wasn’t anything bad about him- at least, not on the surface. Then there was Roman, who was made to be the “good” Creativity. He got a free pass into the light sides. And finally, there was Patton: the ringleader. He couldn’t be thought of as anything but good because he was the caring father figure who simply wanted everyone to stay safe. What could be bad about him? And so, the light sides were complete. 

However, Remus never understood how the dark sides were separated. 

At first he thought it was the names. “Deceit” and “Anxiety” both have negative connotations. But Janus and Virgil sure didn’t act like the baddies their names implied they were. Virgil was tiny and terrified of the world then, shivering and hiding behind whoever could provide him shelter. He was a far cry from the future “villain” who would terrorize Thomas with constant, worrying thoughts and intense social anxiety. He didn’t do anything wrong- not like Remus did. Remus was born imagining Thomas’ brothers getting killed in all sorts of ways and wondering what it would be like to eat things they were specifically not supposed to eat. He was the reason they swallowed a lego once. He was as dark as dark could get. But Virgil was just….pathetic. 

Then there was Janus. Janus didn’t do anything outwardly bad, but he didn’t do anything “good” either. He was more like a distant figure who would observe instead of participating. Remus didn’t hear him open his mouth once when they were all in a group. Perhaps he simply didn’t have anything to say. Remus thought so as a foolish child who couldn’t understand the conversations going on in the background. Now that he’s older, he can remember it as clear as the surface of a mirror with only a _little_ bit of blood in the corner. Patton was always pulling Janus away from the rest of the group before and after discussions, muttering in a low voice implying seriousness. It must’ve been because the name Deceit itself implied a tendency to lie. So, to prove himself and show he wouldn’t lie, Janus didn’t open his mouth. 

But it wasn’t enough. 

The nail in Janus’ metaphorical and literal coffin (Remus convinced him to lay in one once) was how he wasn’t able to stay silent when the topic of Thomas’ safety was involved. It was a noble and wonderful thing, but Patton didn’t see it as so. No, daddy saw it as direct disobedience whenever Janus would say how they should lie in some situations. Lies were safer in dire situations, and if Thomas was to stay protected, he would need to lie to strangers or even to friends to keep himself out of trouble. Patton didn’t share the same idea at the time. He was strict and believed that lying was bad in _all_ situations, so as a result….Janus was evil. The pissed-off padre decided to separate from Janus after a final disagreement about Janus’ role in Thomas’ mind, creating the second split in the process.

Of course, Remus had always been destined for the dark. It was the reason behind his very existence, being the bad one. He didn’t have to have complicated implications like Janus and Virgil, who really seemed to be more morally grey than anything. He was labelled as “Dark Creativity” from the get go. Janus and Patton didn’t need to have any arguments over him because of that, and he was thankful for the simplicity. But he _wasn’t_ thankful for the control Janus slowly began to demonstrate over him. It seemed that after observing Remus’ creativity for so long, Janus too deemed it unsafe for Thomas. Remus was locked away, a hidden personality within young Thomas. He still seeped into Thomas’ drawings and poems at times, but his presence as a whole was never known.

Remus felt and feels so much disdain for Janus. 

He understands it. Like the piece of trash he was, he was thrown away. It was the proper thing to do as when you see litter on the ground, it’s improper to just leave it there instead of tossing it into a nearby can. Remus knew the thoughts behind Janus’ decision, but he still despised it. It was hard not to hate someone who wanted to restrict your very reason for living. There were some crimes against a person too terrible to forgive immediately, and sometimes, these sorts of crimes are never forgiven. The stealing of freedom is such a crime. 

But that wasn’t the point. No. The point was how from the beginning, Remus was….alone.  
Yes, he had Janus and Virgil to torment, but they were always different from him. They were grey- in between good and bad. Remus was born to be bad, and he seemed to be the only one like that within the Mind Palace. At first, he tried to cure his loneliness with his brother. Perhaps the one who came from the same body as him would be easy to relate to in the sense they were both born one way and would never change to be something else. Remus tried to get his attention the only way he knew how: through monsters and murder. Instead of getting closer to him, his brother only distanced himself even more. And so, Remus ran out of ideas on how to find someone to relate to. He would never be like his perfect brother, so perhaps that wasn’t a good place to search for company. 

Remus chose himself for company. Most would see such a choice as even more lonely, but in his side of the Imagination, he was able to cure his loneliness with his creations. A sorrowful dragon would be born for him to talk sweetly to before terminating it in as many gruesome ways as he could think of. An angry, giant snake would be born so he could feel the wonderful, freeing restraint of suffocation only to choke the snake in response, both battling for air. Creatures like this would continuously bloom from his horrid mind. He made them for years. He kept his creations to himself since no one else wanted them, and he felt content with it. There was something reprieving about being able to choose his own isolation. Sure, Janus had originally locked him away from Thomas, but it was his choice to lock himself away from everyone. 

Remus didn’t even know it when another side just like him was born, sparkling in the shadows with a warning orange. Then again, few did. Only Janus, who observed everything, noticed and locked away the monster. 

Now Remus isn’t locked away. Janus had freed him, saying _“You’re wanting to be more honest and be direct dealing with your issues. No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you.”_ Both of those sentences were lies. Remus was aware of the ugliness within him since he thrived in it as a pig thrived in a pool of mud and garbage. On top of that, he didn’t want to be more honest. He was already more honest. When Janus was talking directly to him, really he was talking about Thomas’ wants and needs...honestly. And he did so through lines. It was complicated, yes- but Janus was always complicated. It was one of the only things Remus adored about Janus. 

He doesn’t need to reflect on the events of his release as he twirls his morning star in his hand, giggling whenever it would spin close to his face or make small cuts on his chin and forehead. Remus swings his legs over his bed of hay and feces. Recently he’s been inspired by the grossness of farm animals. He wipes himself off which results in rubbing the smelly substance into his outfit, but he doesn’t care. To him, it feels good on his skin. He loves the odd moistness of it. He gets ready to leave his room and wreak havoc….somewhere (there are a lot of places to wreak havoc now that Thomas knows who he is) only to hear a knock on the door. It’s not stiff like Logan’s, nor is it with multiple hands like Janus’. Remus isn’t sure who it is, but he’s oh so excited to find out. 

“Oooh, come in~!” Remus sings, giggling. “Or you could just cum. I mean-”

His brother is the one who comes in hesitantly, his face twisted in disgust. His expression practically screams “WHY?!” It’s always funny to see someone with that look on their face. 

“Alright, look- I didn’t know who was at the door, bro. You know I’m just a hoe. Oop! I’m a hoe who can rhyme, it seems! I’m also a hoe in general. I mean, if it was anyone besides you, do you know how quick I’d be to ask to suck their-” 

“OKAY. Okay, Remus- I get it, you’re….you. But I didn’t come here to listen to your sexual fantasies about the others,” Roman says, scanning the room with a scrunched up nose and a now serious expression. Remus doesn’t think he’s ever seen such an expression on his brother- at least, not caused by him. Roman doesn’t have his sword on him like he normally would around Remus. He seems defeated. Remus tilts his head and listens carefully as Roman sighs then speaks. 

“I came here because I need to bring back the King. _We_ need to bring back the King.” 

“You visit my room for the first time never to ask me that? I think I need to fumble around your head to find a brain. I’ll do it right now!” Remus replies, rushing to the corner of his room to grab a knife. He charges towards Roman and grabs his hair, ready to go through with literally trying to check Roman’s head for a brain. But he ends up stopping when he sees water forming in Roman’s eyes that the prince furiously tries to blink back. Of course. Roman wouldn’t mention such an idea unless he was upset and absolutely out of his mind. Remus frowns and points the knife towards Roman’s lips. 

“You know what you really need? A smile cut into your mouth! That would cheer you right on up. Just stay still and I’ll-” Roman grabs onto his wrist, making him point the knife to the ground. Remus stares as his brother furiously shakes his head. The duke drops the knife on the ground with a clang and a harsh scratch against the hard floor. Roman flinches at the noise and looks at the knife for a second. 

“Do you ever think about how we were just...torn apart? Maybe Patton was wrong, and we were supposed to stay together. Lately he’s been….”  
“The Mayor of Wrong-ville? The Wrong-cler? The actual wrongest?” Remus cuts in with a wide grin. Roman doesn’t even look upset about it and nods with tight lips, clearing his throat. It’s weird to see him like this, and it’s not a good kind of weird. No, this is the kind of weird that twists his stomach and makes him want to shake Roman furiously before stabbing him in the stomach so Roman can feel just what he’s feeling. “Well, it doesn’t matter. When you kill something, it stays dead. Unless you practice necromancy in the Imagination like I do. Undead racoons are the best. Those things are little killers. They-

“Get to the point, Remus. Please.”

Remus has never heard Roman tell him “please” before, and right now it sounds like he is practically begging for Remus to have a clear train of thought. Remus summons another weapon into his hand just so he can fiddle with it and chop off his own fingers. It helps him to focus. “What I’m sayin’ is that the only place we could bring the King back from the dead is in the Imagination _maybe_ , but who knows what that bastard was like? We would never be able to create him because it’s not like we remember him. The dude’s dead. Gone. Probably suffering eternal torture in the depths of hell. This whole thing about ‘bringing him back’ is dumb as fuck.” 

Roman doesn’t say anything for a long minute. It is suffocating waiting for him to speak, but Remus doesn’t care too much. He’s into suffocation. Actually...maybe he isn’t into this kind of suffocation. It gives him no ecstasy and makes it feel like there’s a hole in his stomach. He doesn’t like holes in his stomach unless he digs them in there with a shovel. 

“We don’t need to remember him. I know he was better, so we can just make someone good,” Roman says after forever, making Remus scoff and roll his eyes. It seems like Roman is really bad at thinking straight. Remus is too, of course- at least two hundred percent of his thoughts are gay. But this is really stupid. 

“If Daddy got rid of him, he was a bitch,” Remus states, now slowly digging the knife into his skin instead of slicing through his fingers like butter. Roman looks away, though he isn’t sure if it’s out of insecurity or disgust or both. The prince grits his teeth and practically spits out his question. 

“How do _you_ know that?”

“Because I’m a bitch.” 

Roman stares at him, and Remus stares back with his normal, wide eyes. He knows it’s disturbing, but Roman doesn’t even look away. He seems off. Well, Remus always makes people more off. It’s nothing new. He licks his knife while keeping eye contact with Roman. His twin doesn’t even flinch this time; he seems lost in another world. Then, just as quick as he left, Roman comes back to reality. He turns towards the door and looks like he’s going to leave but he stops there, holding onto the doorknob (which Remus soaked recently in bleach to lick off of it, so it’s probably the cleanest thing in the room). 

“I’m going to return here tomorrow. Is that alright?” Roman asks, turning back to look at Remus with an expression the duke can’t really read. It’s odd, not being able to read Roman. He’s usually such an open book whenever Remus sees him. 

“I guess. Oh! But tomorrow is Masturbation Monday, so make sure you kn-” 

Roman leaves before Remus can finish his sentence, muttering something about him being a “sexual, stinky bitch.” Remus giggles and looks down at his chopped off fingers on the ground. He wiggles them, laughing at how they can still move when they’re off of his hand before putting them back on to his hands. Maybe he’ll play with them more later. Oh! He should plan for Roman’s visit. Maybe he could make a brother torture chamber…. 

Just like that, Remus goes back to his work, unaware of how his words affected Roman. He doesn’t rest as he works on his torture chamber the whole night, but the past does. 

And the King finally dies in the mind of a Prince.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 3,272
> 
> Again, if I did miss mentioning something triggering, please let me know! It can be very hard to keep track with Remus, and I want to be aware if I accidentally missed something. Thanks for reading all the way through, and I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Writing Commissions Open

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a one-shot. This is information on writing commissions, as I have opened them up and am ready to accept them.

Hello everyone! If you've read this far through my oneshots, thank you so much. I am happy that people have been enjoying them. I wanted to use this chapter to talk about writing commissions, as I have been thinking about doing them for a long time. 

Here is what I _can_ do:  
Fluff, hurt comfort, angst, or ship content. I can do this for Logicality, Prinxiety, Analogical, Moxiety, Logince, Royality, Loceit, Moceit, Roceit, Anxceit, Demus, Dukexiety, Intrulogical, Intruality, and Creativitwins (platonic sibling content for Roman and Remus). I am also open to poly ships including LAMP and DLAMP. I am not going to take the time to list out every single poly ship as that would be too much, but just know that I'm fine with it as long as it doesn't include Roman and Remus romantically being together. For ships that aren't directly sanders sides, I'm good with Remile, Rosleep, Losleep, Patton x Remy (don't know the ship name), Anxsleep, Remus x Remy, Desleep, Remus x Emile, Emile x Patton, Emile x Logan, Emile x Roman, Emile x Janus, Emile x Critic, and Critic x Emile x Remy. I'm okay with most combination of characters for ships and for platonic interaction. 

I am also alright with writing gore, torture, unsympathetic and sympathetic sides content, fighting, darker themes, and more. 

Here's what I _can't_ do:  
Intense yandere themes. I can write someone being obsessive or possessive, but I get triggered when it's someone threatening or killing for love. I also cannot do NSFW as I am only 17, and that would both go against Thomas' wishes and would be illegal. This means that I won't do any kinks or fetishes. I also won't do graphic suicidal content or self harm. 

As for rates, this can be talked about when you give me what you would like in word amount and in character amount/topic. So far, I am thinking that 1000 words or slightly more/less would be $5, 2000 words would be $10, and so on- 5 more dollars for each 1000 words. I use Paypal for pay, and to discuss commissions with me, you may message me through the following means:  
Instagram- @star.bright.cosplay  
Discord- @DownRightDanny#1289  
Email- downrightdanny@gmail.com

Thank you for reading all the way through this! I will edit this if my commissions close, but for now, they are wide open!

Edit: Just for clarification, this isn’t for requests. This is specifically for paid commissions. I don’t mind lessening prices if it is too much, but this is with payment for one-shots or more in mind.


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